Broken For Now
by lil-lies.nmore
Summary: A few short months after the battle against Loki, and at the 'request' of Fury, each Avenger moves into the newly renovated Stark Tower with Tony and Pepper. All but Steve, who is avoiding their calls. Where is their Captain, their leader, and why is he taking his sweet time moving in? Eventual Steve/Tony, some angst
1. Chapter 1

Broken For Now

At the request/order of Fury, each Avenger has moved into Stark Tower. All but their Captain. Where is Steve, and why is he ignoring orders?

Warning: Story will involve angst, slight OOC Steve, and slash content in later chapters

I own nothing.

Chapter 1

"Have you talked to him?" Natasha asked.

"Yesterday," Clint replied, "and he said he'll be here by Friday."

It was Thursday.

Natasha sighed, "Do you believe him?"

"Did I believe him last week?"

The two assassins were sitting in the common room at Stark Tower, Clint mindlessly flipping through the channels on the television, Natasha mindlessly flipping through a magazine. Both preoccupied, thinking about Steve.

Two months ago, each member of the team received a phone call from Fury, who all but ordered him or her back to New York, where he or she were to move into Stark Tower so they would all be readily available for when the time arose for their next mission.

Gradually over the course of the following three weeks, each member arrived at the Tower with their small amount of personal belongings. They now all call Stark Tower home.

All but one.

All but Steve.

"Did he say where he is?"

Clint shook his head, "I don't know what's going on with that guy. I've talked to him, you've threatened him-"

"Requested," she corrected.

"-and Stark told him, 'Get your ass here! I am not taking the brunt of Fury's wrath because you're off trying to find yourself or whatever the hell you're doing!'"

"I did not say that," Tony piped in, as he walked into the room.

"Excuse me," Clint responded, "but this is a private conversation. And yes you did, I was listening from outside the room!"

Natasha raised an eyebrow, "To his private conversation?"

"Who's side are you on," Clint muttered under his breath.

"Whatever, I don't care when the old man decides to grace us with his presence," Tony said, as he plopped down on the sofa, "as long as I'm not the one who takes the fall for it."

Clint glared at Tony for making himself comfortable and apparently planning on staying in the room.

"What are you even doing here?" he asks, "Don't you have a date with Pepper or something?"

"She's out of town," Tony pouted.

"Aww, muffin!" Which received Clint a glare. Clint smirked back, "You know, you're not a very good host if you're going to keep glaring at me."

"I don't need to be a good host since you're not a guest here, thanks to Fury. And Pepper, for saying yes to him before bringing it up to me! I didn't ask for you all to live here. Apparently and unfortunately, my Tower is now home of the Avengers."

"Which is exactly why we should change the name to-"

"This is Stark Tower, and the name will stay Stark Tower!"

Before Clint had a chance to respond with what is sure to be a smart-ass comment, Natasha intervened.

"Boys, please, grow up and focus. Does anyone know why Steve has yet to arrive?"

Both men shook their heads.

"I'm going to call him," she said as she stood up to leave. "Behave!"

She walked out the door to the sound of their bickering.

x

Surprisingly enough, Natasha and Steve had grown quite close since their first meeting. She didn't treat him like an imbecile from another world, and he didn't treat her like a fragile woman. They're similar in many ways, both fighting to fit in and be accepted in a world not designed for them. They respect each other; respect the other's gifts and talents. Steve only wants the best of the best on his team, and he knows Natasha falls into that category, regardless of gender. Which in turn is why she looks to Steve for leadership without question.

Because of this, they had a good relationship, a good comradery. And Natasha felt she had become quite astute to Steve and his mentality.

If Natasha didn't have this sort of relationship with Steve, she may not have called him; may have just let him come in his own time, on his own terms.

But she wasn't going to let him have his way this time.

She dialed his number.

"Hi Natasha," Steve said, as he picked up the phone.

"Clint tells me he spoke with you yesterday," she responded, while making herself comfortable on the chaise chair in her room.

She could hear Steve sigh on the other end of the line.

"Yeah, about that," he started, "something has come up. I don't think I will be able to make it there this weekend."

"You seem to have a lot of things that come up last minute."

"I'm sorry, Natasha, I'll be there when I can."

She waited a beat before asking, "Where are you?"

"Around."

"Steve…" She said it in her 'warning' tone. Quiet and deadly.

And she heard his sigh.

"I am in the state. It is just taking me a bit longer to get there than the timeline I originally planned."

"Fury isn't happy," Natasha told him. "You were supposed to be here over a month ago."

"I will call him and let him know where I am. Don't worry, if a mission comes up before I get a chance to move in, I'll be there."

"What is it?" Natasha suddenly asked.

"What is what?" Steve asked, confused.

"What came up?" she clarified.

After a moment, "Personal things."

But his pause was enough to confirm her suspicion. It was time for Steve to man up.

"Deal with your 'personal things' here. I'll see you tomorrow. Don't think about not showing. You're our leader, you have a responsibility to this team, and you're needed here." With that said, Natasha hung up the phone.

She shook her head with a sigh, and silently hoped Steve would listen to her.

x

After taking a moment to figure out how to hang up his mobile (it's been months and he still cound not figure out how to properly use this new gadget), Steve pocketed his phone. He took a brief second to wonder if Natasha's threat wa serious, but quickly dismissed that thought, because yes, of course she meant it. Natasha would never say anything she didn't mean.

And it is in that moment that an American Icon said something very un-Steve-like.

"Damn."

x

**Tell me what you think! Please Review.**


	2. Chapter 2

Broken For Now

I know, Chapter 2 came quick! I apologize for the future, because I am not usually this speedy with my updates.

Thank you to those who have already Faved and Followed!

Special thanks to Maria Izabela Kolakowska for reviewing!

Warnings are in Chapter 1, but a quick recap: Eventual Angst, OOC, and Slash.

Chapter 2

When Natasha returned to the common room, Tony and Clint were still bickering. However, at least their conversation had turned productive; they were arguing over ways to force Steve to come back and move in.

"I could shoot an arrow at Bruce, that would probably cause Big Green to show up, and in turn, the Cap!"

"I'm sure if I bribed Thor with enough pop-tarts, hell, I could even buy him a factory, I could get him to secretly release Loki, who would in turn want revenge, cause another war, and BAM, Avengers Assemble!"

Perhaps 'productive' was too strong a word.

Tony noticed Natasha's reappearance first, and gave her a questioning look as she takes her seat. She returned his look with a small nod and a slight smile.

"You got him to say yes?" Tony asked, shocked.

Clint snorted, "Of course she did. Do you not know Natasha? She could bring any man to his knees," and with an added smirk, "and he would fall before her with a smile!"

He didn't quite dodge the couch cushion she threw at him.

Tony snorted, as he watched Clint try and compose himself. "Don't you know by now not to piss her off?" Turning to Natasha he asked, "When did he say he'll be here?"

"Tomorrow."

Tony rolled his eyes, "And what do we do when he doesn't show?"

"He'll show."

And it is the finality in her voice that dropped the subject.

"Well," Tony suddenly stood, "guess I'll go call Pep and let her know our final 'roommate' will be arriving soon, and she'd better return home before I go completely and totally insane from all of you. That, or become on alcoholic. Oh, wait…"

With that, Tony left the room.

Clint looked at Natasha, "Did Cap confirm why he's been avoiding the Tower?"

Natasha glanced back, "He didn't have to."

"Good thing it's our job to hear what isn't said then. Is it what we suspect?"

"I believe so," Natasha said.

"Does he know?" Clint asked, nodding towards the door Tony just walked out of.

"No," she gave Clint a stern look, "and he will not find out from either of us."

A sharp nod in her direction, before Clint went back to channel surfing, and Natasha back to her magazine.

x

Tony sauntered into his lab, heading over to his desk, where plans for his latest suit were laid out on screens in front of him.

"Jarvis, call Pep."

"Yes, sir," his A.I. replied, just before he heard the phone connection.

"Tony, you are interrupting a meeting with this call," he could hear the slight irritation in Pepper's voice, "This had better be important."

"Of course it's important. It's me calling, every time I call you it's because of something important. Or are you trying to imply that I am unimportant to you?"

"Tony, you know that is not what I meant."

Tony huffed, "Because I'll have you know, I am quite an important person. The fact that my name is plastered all over our company says so."

"Speaking of your company, I am trying to run it at the moment, so…" Pepper countered.

"Exactly!" Tony exclaimed, triumphantly, "_My_ company. Because I am Tony Stark. Of Stark Industries. Which means you get a free pass for leaving your meeting to talk to me."

"That may be true if I were talking to Tony Stark of Stark Industries…"

"I am Tony Stark. Take my fingerprints."

"…But," Pepper continued, "I have a feeling I am currently speaking with Tony Stark, my boyfriend."

"We're the same person."

"Not when I'm at work, you're not."

"Ouch." Tony pouted.

Pepper sighed, and in a sugary sweet voice said, "Tony, darling, what can I do for you? And if it is something that will take up more than the next sixty seconds of my time, please call me after my meeting."

"I miss you."

And even though he couldn't see her, Tony knew Pepper was fighting a smile.

"I miss you too, Tony. I'll be home tomorrow."

"So will Capsicle."

"What?" she asked, surprised.

"Congrats! It's a boy! Please, Pep, no more until they start to leave the nest. It's a full house as it is."

He pictured her rolling her eyes at him, "It's Stark Tower, Tony. There's plenty of room. Are you sure he's coming this time."

"Nat threatened to castrate him if he didn't."

"I doubt that."

"Fine," Tony drew out a long sigh, "but she did convince him to say yes. And, in my defense, there probably was some sort of threat involved."

He heard a small laugh from Pepper, "Most likely, yes. I'm glad he is finally going to be moving in."

"You just want the eye candy."

"Yes, but more importantly I want the team together. You all need to bond, become a family."

"Who cares about bonding, unless it's the kinky and with you kind," Tony knew Pepper would be glaring at him for that, "I just want Fury off my case."

"And he will be soon. But Tony, I really do have to go back to work now. I'll be home tomorrow. I love you."

"Love you too, Pep," and Tony would never admit it out loud to Pepper, but saying those words were still difficult for him, "See you when you're home."

As they both disconnect the call, Tony leaned back in his chair.

He hadn't quite figured out _why_ telling Pepper he loves her was so difficult. He never had a problem with it before. And he knew he did love Pepper; she took care of him, she helped to make his life complete, she kept him sane, and wasn't afraid to put him in his place. Perhaps it was because things were now becoming so _real _with Pepper. They lived together, fell asleep in each other's arms, woke up to each other's smiles (when neither was away for business purposes, of course). They talked about their future together, having a family a few years down the road. And even though it was admittedly mostly Pepper talking about that, since uttering the words _marriage _and _babies_ to Pepper still freaked Tony out, made him think she would expect a ring soon, and he was not close to being ready for that, Tony still listened to her talk. Yes, he listened with most likely scared, wide eyes, but regardless, it's still being discussed.

Because things were _happening _between Tony and Pepper, this was a real, adult relationship he was in, they were getting serious, and it was still so new and a little bit frightening for Tony.

That must have been why he needed to force himself to say those three little words every time.

But it was not something he is going to dwell on, he decided, because he knew his world would be crushed if Pepper wasn't in it. She was his best friend. The closest thing he had to family. And that knowledge is more than enough to ease his mind that he did in fact love her.

As Tony returned his attention to the plans laid out in front of him, he thought about what tomorrow would bring; not only with his girlfriend returning home, but also with the arrival of the final member of the Avengers.

The Tower was certainly going to become an interesting place in the coming days now that everyone would finally be together.

x

Motorcycle rumbling below him, Steve cruised around on empty back roads, trying to build up his courage before tomorrow came.

He knew he shouldn't have put it off so long, he should have moved into Stark Tower within days of receiving the call from Fury, it would have been so much easier. Things would not have had a chance to progress so far; his emotions would have been more in check. He could have grown accustomed to being there, everything happening around him, as his feelings became stronger. He would have had better control that way. And no one would know.

But he was a coward. And he wasn't thinking logically. So he stayed away. He ran from his emotions, and thoughts, and feelings. He hoped time would help ease them, possibly even rid him of them all together. But that was not to be.

And now he needed to move into the Tower. Where not only would he have to hide everything from his new housemates, but would have to do so with them wondering why he ignored Fury's orders, and why he was moving in a month late.

Steve was sure Natasha knew, if their conversation earlier was anything to go by. He had a feeling she suspected before, possibly even before he was fully aware of it himself, but now she must know for sure. She's too perceptive.

And if Natasha knew, Clint couldn't be too far behind. Not that Steve believed Natasha would tell Clint, but because the two deadly spies were trained together; they think alike, notice the same things. Clint would have seen everything Natasha had.

As for Thor and Bruce, Steve doubted either knew anything other than _something _is going on with him, but that is really Steve's own fault for staying away so long. He highly doubts they would bring anything up, though, when he arrived. And if he could do a good enough job of hiding, they probably wouldn't notice anything out of the ordinary. Neither man knew him quite well enough to recognize if Steve wasn't acting himself.

Then there was Tony. He could only hope and pray Tony would know nothing. Would suspect nothing. And if the others knew, or found out, would mention nothing to Tony.

But it is Pepper Steve was most frightened to face.

Because while she is not a member of the Avengers, it is still her home he was moving into. Which, in a way, made her a part of the team. Someone he would be seeing on a regular basis. And Steve was scared he will treat her differently, unfairly, because of who she is. He hated to admit he was already thinking up ways to avoid her. And Steve was ashamed that protecting her from his ill treatment wasn't the only reason he wanted to avoid Pepper.

Taking a deep breath, Steve turned his bike around, and headed towards New York City. He would find a hotel to spend the night, and then go to the Tower in the morning. He briefly entertained the idea of staying away until Friday evening, however figured it best to not put his arrival off any longer.

Besides, he didn't want to give Natasha reason to come after him.

x

I love hearing what you think! Also, any wishes and ideas are welcome. **Please Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

Broken For Now

**Note**: I never thought I would say this, because I find it difficult at times, but I'm actually really enjoying writing Natasha and Clint. Sorry if they are kind of OOC, but this is how I picture them acting and reacting in a situation like this. Especially after setting their relationships with Steve in the first 2 chapters. Let me know if I've taken them a little too far to be believable.

**Warnings**: Slight OOC, some Angst (yes, it will come eventually), and eventual Slash

**Chapter 3**

Looking up at the structure in front of him, Steve felt small and intimidated.

As he stood on the sidewalk, frozen in place, staring up at the building that is to be his new home, Steve tried to catch control of his breathing. He was panicking. A superhero, scared to step foot into his own new home, where he would be living with his closest friends and teammates, in the lap of luxury thanks to his one teammate being a billionaire.

He really was a coward.

As Steve slowly took a few deep breaths to calm his nerves, his thoughts turned to his apprehension of entering. It was not because of the huge tower, which stands countless stories high. No, he felt small and intimidated standing outside of Stark Tower because of what stood inside Stark Tower. Or, more accurately, who.

How would he be able to do this? Work, and live, and breathe the same air as the others, knowing he was hiding this deep, dark secret. How would he face them? The pitying looks from those who knew the truth, the confused glances from those completely in the dark, and the hurtful stares from the one who would be affected most.

And while his heart was screaming at him, telling him to turn around, that he couldn't do this, Steve's head was telling him he is Captain America, to get a hold of himself, and walk through that door with his head high.

Deciding he spent the last month listening to his heart, and look where that got him, it was time he started to listen to his head.

With a final, deep breath, Steve walked into Stark Tower.

x

Moments after stepping through the main door, Steve realized he had no idea where to go from there, but before he had a chance to use that as an excuse and bolt, Natasha had been by his side, guiding him through a hallway to a private elevator. He vaguely recalled she had explained to him things like passwords, and keys, and how if he had any problems, a man named Jarvis would help him out, but he had been too preoccupied trying to control his anxiety to really pay attention.

As they began their ride up, Natasha must have noticed, because she was quiet the rest of the way.

A 'ding' brought Steve back to reality, and shortly after the doors opened.

"This is the common floor," Natasha explained as they step out of the elevator, "it takes up one of the floors of our living area here in Stark Tower."

"Also known as Avengers Tower!" Clint proclaimed, as he greated them with a smile. He held out his hand to Steve, "Glad you made it."

Steve grasped Clint's hand and gave it a firm shake, "So am I."

Both assassins looked at him speculatively. Steve ignored their twin looks.

"So what is the common floor?" Steve asked.

"It's where we all migrate when we're not all off working and shit," Clint responded, as he leads the way further in.

"I wouldn't call you sneaking around in the vents 'work'," Natasha said, and Clint gave her a look.

"Of course it is, how do you think I stay all stealthy and sharp. It's training, Nat!"

Deadly look from her.

"…asha."

Steve cut in, "So everybody comes here to spend their free time?"

Clint gave the smallest of sympathetic looks to Steve, which confirmed for him the Clint knew, before he replied offhandedly, "Mostly it's Natasha and I. Banner has his own lab a few floors down; Thor is either back home or visiting Jane, or seeing the sights, or who knows where. Either way, he's not usually here. And, um," a slight hesitation, "Stark is usually in his lab. And Pepper is either working or with Tony on their floors."

Steve winced slightly, but from the look both Natasha and Clint gave him, he knows they had caught it.

"Um, so," Steve started, trying to change the subject, "how many floors are, um…"

"Ours?" Clint asked.

Steve nodded.

With the smallest smile Natasha said, "I knew you weren't paying attention to me on the way up here."

Steve gave her a sheepish look.

"There are four 'apartment' floors, each with two studio-style apartments-"

"_Massive_ studio-style apartments, man!" Clint interrupted.

"-each including their own living area, kitchen, and four-piece washroom. Clint and I share a floor," Clint wiggled his eyebrows at that, and Natasha jabbed him in the side, "Thor has one on a floor, and Bruce has one on another. You can choose to share a floor with one of them, or have one to yourself."

Steve nodded his head, thinking the empty floor would be for the best. Keep himself distant from the others.

As if reading his thoughts, Natasha continued, "The common floor is where the main living area is," she gestured around them to emphasize her point, "as well as a large kitchen," pointing over to the other side of the room, where a long, island counter with stools separate the living room with a state of the art kitchen. "We eat dinner together. Every night." She gave Steve a look that clearly said, 'no excuses'.

Steve nodded his head in acknowledgment.

"The dining room is through that doorway next to the kitchen, and a library is behind us. As we said, this is where we spend most of our time."

Steve looked around, trying to take everything in. Behind him he saw closed French doors, which presumably led to the library. He also noticed a large balcony leading off the living area, which gave a great view of the city. It was a beautiful space, yet completely overwhelming.

"What else?" He knew there was more.

"The rest of our area consists of a gym, Bruce and Tony's labs, and Tony and Pepper's floor." She paused a moment to see his reaction to that, but Steve kept a solid face. "That is basically it. Each floor has two elevators, one for the full Tower, the other only travels between our floors. The Avengers have the top 10 floors of the Tower-"

"Once again, known as the 'Avengers Tower'!"

"Clint, it's not catching on."

Sucking in a breath, Steve froze.

"I see you finally decided to give us the honor of your presence, Cap," Tony continued, walking further into the room. "Next time you're going to refuse orders, maybe give me a bit of a heads up. Fury gets annoying when he's pissed."

Steve gave a stiff nod, and Tony walked up to him.

With a grin, Tony said, "Now that your scolding is over, it's good to see you again, Cap."

Holding out his hand, he waited for Steve to grasp it.

After hesitating just a moment, Steve shook Tony's hand and smiled. Then with complete sincerity said, "It's really good to see you too, Tony."

"Well, make yourself at home-"

"Hey Stark," Clint interrupted, "Natasha and I need to head over to SHIELD, and we didn't get a chance to give Captain here the tour. You don't mind, do you?"

He noticed the slight flicker of Natasha's eyes, silently debating if this lie was a good idea, and he saw the murderous look from Steve at his suggestion. Oh well, the guy needed to get used to being here. Might as well start now.

Tony faltered a moment before responding. "Actually, I need to head to the lab-"

"Perfect! You can start the tour with your lab, and go from there. Thanks, man, I'm sure Cap here appreciates it. Not being left in a strange new place on his own and all."

Although from the glare Clint was receiving behind Starks back, he was sure Cap didn't appreciate it as much as was Clint's letting on.

"Besides, it is _Stark _Tower. Who better to show our newest housemate around than Tony Stark himself!"

With that said, Clint hurriedly headed toward the main elevator, and thankfully heard Natasha following close behind.

As the elevator doors closed, Clint let out a breath, leaned against the wall, and looked up.

Natasha crossed her arms, and raised an eyebrow at the archer.

"What? You said it yourself, Cap needs to man up. And he also needs to get used to spending time with others. He can't just hole himself up in his room like I'm sure he was planning."

"And you thought Stark was the best person to ease him in with?"

"Hey, he's going to get wet anyway, so might as well just jump in the pool."

A soft snort, "That was deep."

Clint grinned back, "I know, right! Don't worry, Tash, it'll be fine."

Knowing Steve as well as she did, knowing the extent of his feelings, how deeply he was battling himself over them, how much he wished they would go away, and how they were hurting him so much, Natasha really hoped Clint was right.

x

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	4. Chapter 4

Broken For Now

Told you it would come eventually! Warning: Some angst, and some one-sided slash.

Chapter 4

x

As soon as the elevator doors closed, sealing his traitorous teammates inside, Steve turned to Tony.

"You really don't need to show me around. I'm sure you have work to do, and I don't mind exploring on my own."

Tony shook his head and turned toward the private elevator, "Nah, it's ok. Follow me. I don't mind, wasn't doing a whole lot in the lab anyway, mostly just killing time until Pepper came home."

With his back to Steve, Tony missed the way Steve flinched at the mention of his girlfriend's name.

Entering the elevator and turning back to Steve, Tony grinned, "Hurry up, Cap. Your carriage awaits."

As Steve entered, Tony said, "Let's start with Clint's suggestion and visit my lab first. Jarvis, if you don't mind?"

Before Steve had a chance to wonder who Tony was speaking to, the ceiling, or walls, or _something_, answered, "Of course, sir," before the elevator started moving, followed shortly by, "It's a pleasure, Mr. Rogers. If you require any assistance please do not hesitate to ask."

"Um, thanks?" Steve looked around wildly, trying to figure out where the voice was coming from.

Tony laughed at the look on Steve's face, "Sometimes I forget just how out of time you really are. Jarvis is my Artificial Intelligence. He runs the Tower. Actually, he kind of runs my life. In a way, he's like the robotic male version of Pepper…"

Another wince. Steve really needed to learn to control that reaction.

"…and that is no where near as kinky as that sounds, because gross. And don't tell Pep I said that. Any of that. Or I'll be in the doghouse and sleeping on the couch for who knows how long, and I really don't want that, especially after her being away the last few days. There is no way I am letting her kick me out of our bed now that she'll be home! So, no, Jarvis is nothing like Pepper. Let's forget I ever mentioned anything at all."

_Yes please_, Steve couldn't help but think.

The elevator 'dings', signaling their arrival, and as Tony led the way into his lab and began to show Steve around, Steve decided he coul do this. Yes, he would make this work. So far he has lasted a good couple of minutes with Tony, and it has been just fine. Sure, inside he is finding it difficult, but he was doing a good job of hiding it. He just needed to take it one moment at a time, each day. He could spend time in his separate room, claiming to prefer his space; he could go for walks around the city when it became too hard to stay in the Tower; he could even take his bike out for day trips if the city began to feel too small.

As for the team dinners every night, Steve was sure he can make up some excuse here and there to get out of them, and those times he could not, he would just have to grin and bear it. He could fake everything to be fine. He could pretend he wasn't struggling to breathe, his head wasn't spinning, and his heart wasn't feeling constricted in his chest.

And as they left the lab together, Tony as his tour guide, explaining Jarvis in more detail to him, Steve's head continued to try and convince his heart everything would be all right.

x

Later that day, after finishing his tour and spending some time to catch up with Bruce, Steve found himself alone in his new 'apartment', finally able to relax.

It had been rough spending that much time with Tony earlier in the day. But it had also been nice. And exactly what Steve needed.

Because while being close to Tony was difficult, Steve realized being away from him had been much worse.

While a part of him still hated himself for the way he feels, Steve has learned to accept it for what it is. That he is a man who has deep, romantic feelings for another man. And while at first that was hard to swallow, he has learned to accept these types of emotions as normal in this new time. He briefly had thoughts like this before, long ago, when he was only a sickly young man, but he had learned to push them out of his mind. Now, though, he is unable to rid himself of these thoughts, which is why he is partly glad the public generally accepts them; he does not need to feel complete shame for his love towards another man.

And that is what it is. Love. Towards his teammate. His friend. Who is interested only in woman, even has a girlfriend.

Ever since Steve first met Tony, he knew there was something different about the man. He could feel it inside. He knew he was curious towards the billionaire, possibly even slightly fascinated by him. However, he confused his other, un-nameable emotions with anger and frustration, and lashed out at Tony. It seemed like a proper response at the time; it seemed to make sense.

It wasn't until he watched Tony sacrifice himself, and Steve felt like his heart stopped beating while he watched, waiting for Tony to come back through the portal; when he saw Tony come plummeting to the ground, not slowing down, and his breath caught, hoping he would land safely; when Tony lay on the ground, his arc reactor dark, Steve's world crumbling around him, silent tears forming in his eyes; and then Tony awake, alive, and well, and Steve's world finally began turning again. It was not until all of this happened that Steve realized the true extent of his feelings. And that he had confused anger with jealousy.

Jealous of the man's charm, jealous of the man's confidence, jealous of the man's relationship.

Jealous that the man was loving someone else.

He was envious of Pepper, and he loath to admit it, but part of him hated her for getting to be the one to express her love for Tony. Because he, Steve Rogers, was in love with Tony Stark.

Which is why he ran.

He did not plan to return, not unless the Avengers were called into action. He planned to stay away, get his feelings and emotions under control. They were not healthy. In fact, they were consuming him. Time away was all he needed. Removing himself from a stressful situation, in order to gain the upper hand on his emotions once again. He's controlled them in the past, this time would be the same.

Only it wasn't. Because his feelings did not lessen. Instead, only grew stronger and deeper.

And then Fury called. And he was ordered to move into Stark Towers along with the rest of the team. With Tony. With Pepper.

And here he was, his first day living in his new home. And so far, he has made it through. It had not been as bad as he originally expected, but he knew that would change when Pepper returned home.

Because then he wouldn't be able to pretend. It would be real. At least when she wasn't there, Steve could trick his mind into thinking Tony is just his single friend, who isn't interested in a relationship. But if his reaction to just hearing her name is anything to go by, Steve knew it would be torture to see the two of them together.

"Mr. Rogers, dinner will be served shortly. The others will be arriving in the common kitchen in the next short while. Ms. Romanoff has requested I remind you."

Steve jumped as he heard Jarvis' 'voice', not sure if he would ever get used to the A.I.

And leave it to Natasha to not trust him to come to dinner on his own. Even though he was seriously contemplating staying in his room.

"Um, thank you, Jarvis?" Steve began, unsure of how to speak to the A.I., "Can you tell her I am on my way?"

"Of course, sir."

Steve shook his head as he stood, partly to try and clear his mind of the heavy thoughts that had been running through it earlier, and partly because he was wondering how he would get through all the new ways of this century, technological and otherwise.

x

Even though only a few short minutes had passed since Jarvis' announcement, by the time Steve walked into the main kitchen, everyone is there. Bruce and Natasha were standing in the kitchen, dishing out what appeared to be lasagna and salad onto five plates. Clint and Tony both were seated on stools at the island counter.

Clint was the first to spot Steve.

"Hey man, pull up a stool," he said, gesturing at the seat to the left of him (luckily not the one on the right, between him and Tony), and Steve made his way over.

As he settled on the stool, he wondered why they weren't eating in the dining room.

Natasha must have caught his quick glance towards the doorway, because she soon said, "We usually just eat in here if we aren't all home."

"Don't worry, Cap," Tony added, "we'll be good and proper tomorrow night at a real table. Thor and Pep will be home by then."

Steve tensed up once again.

"I wasn't worrying, this is fine with me. I almost prefer it like this." And sure, that may have been harsh, but Tony wouldn't know what he really meant by that statement. Only Clint and Natasha would.

And the subtle looks he received from both of them tells him they thought he was being harsh too.

"Never thought I would hear Captain America, he who stands for all that is good and wholesome, would prefer a casual and broken dinner, opposed to a sit-down meal with the whole family."

Steve snorted, and looking at Tony, "I just meant it's a nice change. More casual and relaxed, while still being together."

"You heard the Captain, guys. He prefers to eat at the counter, instead of the dining room. And, as our leader, I feel we should respect his wishes from here on out. I petition we stop all of those formal, dining room meals!"

"And what would we do for holidays and special occasions," a feminine voice Steve had been dreading hearing said from behind them.

Tony turned back to look at Pepper, "If you can come up with a good enough argument, I may agree to allow that clause."

Bruce and Pepper both chuckle, as she walked over to Tony for a kiss, however the remaining three are silent. Natasha and Clint both carefully watching Steve, while they exchanged greetings with Pepper.

And Steve was frozen in place. Completely tense. He knew this was coming, he knew she would be arriving back to the Tower at some point today, he knew he would be seeing her soon, he just hoped it wouldn't be now. Not yet. As much as he thought he had prepared himself, he wasn't ready. Not for this.

He could hear them talk, he could hear them laugh, and he could hear them kiss. And speak. And kiss. And laugh. And kiss.

Steve could feel his heart constrict. He couldn't breathe.

And then she was next to him, telling him hello, saying she is glad he was able to make it, welcoming him to the Tower, his new home. Their home. Where she also lives. With Tony. Together, her and Tony.

It was at that moment Steve realized he cannot do this. He had to get away from here.

Without responding to Pepper, Steve stood up and quickly, exiting the room.

x

Please tell me what you think! **Review?**


	5. Chapter 5

Broken For Now

I'm not entirely thrilled with this chapter, but I will post it and move on so the story can progress. Please don't hate it!

Thank you to those who have added this story to their favorites and follows, and thank you to those who have reviewed and told me their thoughts on the story!

Here is some more angst, and more one-sided slash for you!

**Chapter 5**

x

Silence followed Steve's sudden departure.

Then noise all at once.

Pepper asked, 'Is he ok?', as Bruce said, 'What was that about?', and Tony exclaimed, 'What the fuck just happened!'; Natasha dropped the spatula she was holding into the sink, and Clint's stool crashed to the floor as he pushed back from the counter.

Leaving Natasha with damage control in the kitchen, Clint rushed out of the room shouting, "I'll go find out," to the others.

But as he headed towards the elevator he could see Steve inside, the doors already closing, and Clint did not reach it fast enough before Steve disappeared.

x

Hurriedly making his way into the garage, Steve ran to his bike, jumping on. Revving the engine, he sped out onto the street, and headed towards the outskirts of the city.

As Steve drove down old back roads, he could feel his mobile phone vibrating in his pocket, as it had been almost non-stop for the last 10 minutes, and he wondered which of the Avengers was trying to get a hold of him. He assumed it would be Natasha; it's her he had grown closest to since their team formed all those months ago. But it could also be Clint, since he knows the secret, and was the one to chase after Steve back in the Tower.

But Steve was most frightened that it as Tony calling him. Perhaps to yell at him, or ask him what is wrong, or tell him to come back. No matter the reason, Steve could not talk to Tony in that moment.

Which is why instead of pulling over to check his phone, Steve continued driving. He just needed some time. He needed to clear his head, and pull himself together. And then when he returned to the Tower he would be ready to face them.

All of them.

Including Tony.

And Pepper.

And Tony and Pepper

He hoped.

With a sigh, Steve continued down the road.

x

It was well past midnight when Steve returned to Stark Tower.

The first thing he did after parking his bike in the garage was head to the main kitchen, realizing not only did he run out before eating dinner, but had been too preoccupied with his thoughts while on the road, he did not stop for any food.

Quietly stepping off the elevator on the common floor, Steve hoped no one stayed up waiting for him to arrive home. He did not feel like answering their questions.

But the living area was dark, and so was the kitchen.

He breathed a sigh of relief while opening the refrigerator door, grateful the coast was clear.

Grabbing a slice of leftover lasagna, Steve headed back to the elevator and pushed the button that would bring him up the two floors to his own apartment. He was looking forward to lying down and getting some sleep. The day had been draining.

Taking a bite of the cold lasagna, the elevator 'dings' and Steve stepped out, heading towards his door.

Before stopping suddenly.

Because standing just a few, short feet in front of him, right next to his apartment door, was Tony.

Taking a deep breath, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart, Steve nodded at the other man.

Tony returned the nod.

"Um. Hi." Steve didn't know what to say, he only knew he di not want to have a confrontation right now, if that is what Tony was there for.

"Hey. Late night for you, huh, Cap?"

"I could say the same for you." A pause, and then he asked, "Were you waiting up for me?"

Tony gave a small chuckle, and leaned against the wall, "Don't flatter yourself, Cap. I was in the lab. It's my Tower, which means I like to know the comings and goings of the people in here, so Jarvis told me when you pulled into the garage."

Steve gave Tony an odd look.

"What? Why the look? It's not creepy! I'm not stalking! I just like to know when people are lurking around my Tower during the middle of the night."

Which drew a small laugh out of Steve. "It wasn't lurking. It can't be considered lurking since I live here now."

"You were kind of lurking."

"I was walking quietly, so not to disturb anyone at this late hour."

"Lurking."

Steve laughed, and leaned against the wall opposite Tony.

"I wasn't lurking! If anyone is lurking, I think it is you. Standing alone, waiting in the hallway of my floor."

Tony quirked an eyebrow and smirked, "Again, it's my Tower. All floors are mine. And I told you, Jarvis let me know when you got home. I was up, and wanted to come speak with you."

Steve's smile fades as he looked away, "Speak with me?"

"Yeah, that's what I said," and Steve fully expected Tony to yell at him, demand to know what his problem was, why he was to rude to Pepper, why he had to go ahead and ruin the night for everyone.

"Is everything okay?" A soft and gentle voice from Tony was _not _was Steve had been expecting.

"You seemed fine, even joking with me about vetoing the dining room, then suddenly you were quiet, and hurrying out the door." Tony looked thoughtfully at him. "What changed your mood?"

"Um…"

"Pepper thinks it has something to do with her."

And while a small, petty part of Steve wished he could say, 'Yes, it is because of her,' he would never do that. Because in reality, it was his own fault. His own problem. And he would not burden the others with it.

So instead he said the proper response, "Of course it isn't her. Pepper is great. She is a wonderful woman." And that was the truth, Steve truly does believe this. Pepper, as an individual, is an amazing person. Unfortunately, Pepper was not in Steve's life as an individual, but as an extension of Tony. This was where his dilemma lies.

"Are you sure?" Tony pressed, "She said she approached you to say hello, and instead of responding, you stood up and fled. She felt you were ignoring her, and then left because of her."

Steve shook his head, and recited what he had practiced in his head, over and over again on his ride earlier in the evening. "I just wasn't feeling well. Even though I have been in this time for a few months now, things can still overwhelm me, and cause these moments. It comes on suddenly. I just needed some space, some time to clear my head."

Looking at Tony, Steve held his breath, and hoped he would accept that explanation.

Tony looked at him thoughtfully.

A moment passes, and Steve was nervous Tony would see right through him.

Steve then sincerely added, "Please tell her I am sorry for the way I acted towards her earlier."

And that brought a sweet and gentle smile to Tony's face. A smile Steve would do anything for, if only he could see it everyday.

"I will," and Tony stepped forward, grasping Steve's muscular forearm with his right hand, "and Steve, I know I can be an asshole sometimes. I know I can act uncaring, insensitive, and sarcastic. I know we have had our differences in the past. But right now that doesn't matter. Because what's more important than all of the problems we have caused and faced with each other, what we need to remember; we're on the same team. And I appreciate you opening up to me. I understand if you want to keep this between the two of us."

Tony waited a moment for Steve to respond, but he could only nod his head once, because he did not expect Tony to say anything resembling what he was speaking now, and Steve was beginning to get emotional just hearing the other man's words.

"Okay, I can respect that. Just don't feel you need to run and hide from me. I'm not too good at this sort of thing, recognizing and dealing with peoples feelings and shit, but I can see this is tough for you. This new adjustment you are being forced to go through. Just know that if you need help to get through a rough time, you can ask me, and I will do what I can to make things better and easier for you. I'm a genius, remember. I can figure out how to fix things."

Another nod from Steve, and he knew he needed to go inside his apartment soon, or he would risk the chance of Tony seeing the tears that ere slowly filling his eyes.

He's a soldier, and he wouldl not cry in front of this man.

"Alright then," Tony straightened himself up, and lowered his arm to his side once more, "now that the sentimental part of this evening is over, and by the way I will make your life a living hell if you mention this conversation to Clint. Or Natasha. Or Pepper… Actually, how about we just keep this strictly between us. I mean it."

A serious look.

"But I also meant all that crap I just spewed. Remember that, okay?"

And with a final nod from both men, Tony headed for the elevator, and Steve entered his room.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, he leaned against the door after closing it behind him.

He never expected that from Tony; the emotion, the thoughtfulness, gentleness, and consideration. Steve had pictured him in his mind like that many times before, but he never thought it possible to experience it first hand. Now that he has, he knows he will only fall deeper for the man. It would be that much more difficult to be near Tony.

But even worse, would be that much harder to stay away.

Closing his eyes, a single tear fell.

x

So, how was this chapter? **Please Review!**


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry this took so long. I'm in the middle of moving, and _WOW _do I have a lot to pack! I may have a slight hoarding problem…

I hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think.

**Broken For Now**

**Chapter 6**

Over the course of the next few days, Steve tried his hardest to avoid Tony. It really wasn't all that difficult to accomplish, the genius preferring to spend most of his time in his lab. He really only came out for their nightly 'Team Dinner', and even then, sometimes not even threat of death would tear him away from his work.

It also helped to have an unlikely ally in Clint.

The morning after his first night in the Tower, Clint approached him, saying they needed to chat. Steve was expecting a disappointed look; the archer to perhaps remind him it is best to face his problems head on. About to tell Clint that Natasha cornered him earlier in the morning for the same conversation, Clint surprised Steve the moment he started talking.

"I know it's got to be rough on you, man, seeing someone you care so much for with another person. I don't know if I would be able to handle that. I don't necessarily think the best reaction is to run away every time, but I get it if you need space to clear your head. Don't avoid them all the time, or else Natasha will get on your case, but I'll help you out if you need a bit of time away from it all."

That help Clint had offered had been all but a lifesaver for Steve.

After that night in the hallway with Tony, and the private tears that followed, Steve found he could not even glance in Tony's direction without feeling those emotions begin to bubble up inside. He never told Clint what had happened that night after returning from his bike ride, but Clint seemed to know something had gone on between him and Tony.

So Clint helped. He always sat with Steve at dinner, always on the opposite end of the table, far away as possible from Tony and Pepper. He would keep up conversation with Steve, distracting him from glancing in the direction of the happy couple. And if Steve was feeling particularly emotional and needed to get away, Clint would have an excuse ready for him.

Steve was more grateful for this than Clint would ever know. And was glad to have this chance to grow close with the man. He could use the friend right now.

Natasha knew what they were doing, of course, but she let them get away with it. For now. Steve knew that wouldn't last much longer than a couple more days.

x

Four and a half days.

That is how long he had before Natasha confronted him and gently reminded him he was their leader and needed to act as such.

She was right. He wasn't being a very good leader. He had been there for almost a week now, and had barely spoken more than a few words to anyone other than Clint after that first day.

He needed to stop being such a coward, and be a part of the team. He is a supersoldier, and army man, and it was time he began acting as such. No longer was he going to hide from the others, especially Tony and Pepper. They are a couple, they are together, and he needed to get used to that. This was his life now, and he needed to get used to the reality that he would see them often, see them affectionate with each other, and accept that there will never be anything between him and Tony other than friendship.

That wouldn't be so bad. At least then he would still be a part of Tony's life. They would talk, and joke; stay up late drinking beer, watching whatever game was on TV; Tony would tell Steve about the romantic surprises he planned for Pepper, and try and set Steve up so they could double date.

It wouldn't be that bad. He could do that. It wouldn't hurt that much. Probably only every time he breathed.

He would just learn to hold his breath.

Stepping off the elevator onto the common floor, Steve could hear a distinct feminine laugh, closely followed by a deep chuckle.

Taking a deep breath in, Steve stepped into the main part of the room.

Tony and Pepper turned towards him almost immediately. They were sitting on one of the sofas, Pepper with her feet up in Tony's lap. She was wearing a classy looking skirt and blouse; she must have just come home from work.

Steve couldn't stop the thought, _Too bad she's home instead of working late tonight._

Feeling guilty for his thoughts, Steve turned away and headed towards the kitchen.

"Hey, Cap," Tony called, "We're going to put on a movie soon. Thor's going to join us. Bruce should be here soon. I think Clint may as well. You in?"

Steve opened the refrigerator. He knew for a fact Clint was joining in on movie night, he'd made sure of it before venturing to the common floor. After his talk with Natasha he'd gone to Clint, who informed him that he would be thee tonight. Apparently every Wednesday night was movie night. Only tonight, Natasha had some SHIELD work to take care of, and Pepper was supposed to have some Stark Industries work to take care of. Clint told him Tony mentioned since the women were out, tonight was going to be a guys movie night. Emphasis on the _guys_.

Yet there she was, stretched out across Tony, feet resting in a very intimate place. Definitely not a guy. Unless she was keeping a very big secret.

Immediately following that thought Steve felt incredibility guilty. He needed to stop putting Pepper down in his mind, especially before he slipped up and said it out loud.

"Steve?"

Oh, right, he should maybe answer.

"Sure. That sounds fun," he said, without looking up from the snack he was making. He didn't think he could talk to him _and _look at him at the same time, and still be able to keep his composure.

That was the same moment Thor walked into the room, shortly followed by Bruce, and then Clint. Clint met him in the kitchen, and made some popcorn for the group. Steve knew he wasn't that generous, and was only doing it so he would have an excuse to be in the kitchen. It was a big comfort to Steve, knowing he had a friend on his side, and also knowing he wouldn't need to walk into the living room area alone.

Unfortunately, by the time they got into the room, most seating was taken. There was one empty recliner, Thor was stretched out on one sofa, Bruce on a large, over stuffed chair, and Tony and Pepper still on the other, bigger sofa. Only now Pepper had sat up, and was leaning against Tony's side, his arm around her, a new, empty spot on her other side.

"Dude, take the chair, I'll get the couch," Clint said.

Tony snorts at that, "You've got to be joking, Hawkass. There's no way you're actually offering up your chair. You've never done that."

"Thought I'd be nice. It's a big chair, he's a big guy."

"It's a big fucking couch too! If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to get in Spangles pants!"

"Of course not," Clint rolled his eyes. "Don't be such an ass."

"Then go sit in your fucking chair, and stop pretending to be nice," Tony tightens his arm around Pepper, and gestures to the empty seat next to Pepper, "Make yourself comfortable, Cap."

With a quick look at Clint, who returned with a sympathetic one of his own, Steve walked over to the couch, a slowly sat down. At the edge. As far from Pepper as he could.

He knew the others were looking at him funny. There was, after all, plenty of room on the sofa for all of them, but Steve just couldn't bring himself to move any closer to her. Especially not when she was pressed so close up against Tony. Hand on his leg. Snuggled into him.

Steve tried to scoot further away.

Before anyone had a chance to question his odd behaviour, Clint loudly spoke up.

"Can we start this movie already! My popcorn's gonna be gone before it even starts!"

And with that, Tony had Jarvis dim the lights and start the film.

x

They were more than halfway into the movie, and Steve had no idea what was going on.

Not because he was confused, or didn't understand, or for any of the other reasons that were usually present. But because he wasn't watching any of the movie.

Sure, he was facing the enormously large television screen, his eyes could see that something was playing, but he could not focus. Instead all he could think of were the two people sitting next to him.

It wasn't like they were doing anything particularly unacceptable; they were still in the same position, Pepper resting against Tony, his arm over her shoulders. If anything, they had separated slightly as the movie played on, both becoming entranced in what they were watching.

Steve felt like he spent the entire time since the film began reminding himself that this was ok, that he was strong, that he could get through this; that Tony and Pepper are an item, and they can sit together, and hold hands, and he had no right to become jealous. He told himself that Pepper was a good person, and to stop thinking bitterly towards her; that Tony was his friend, and was there for him, and ever though his feelings weren't the same as Steve's, he still cared for him, and that should be enough.

It was while into the middle of this pep talk to himself that he noticed Pepper scoot closer to him. He tried to hide how tense he was becoming.

"Hey Steve," she whispered, "is everything ok?"

"I'm fine," he replied, shortly

"You just seem like something is bothering you?"

"No," Steve said, his tone harsh.

Pepper frowned, "Are you sure Steve? You've been recluse the last few days."

Steve remained silent, clenching his jaw, and staring at the screen.

"Steve," she pressed, "if anything is going on, you can tell me."

More silence.

She put her hand on his arm, "If something is bothering you, please know that you can talk to me."

"I don't want to talk to _you!_" And he may have said that a little louder than intended, and he may of put a little too much emphasis on the 'you', but he couldn't help himself.

A quick look around the room showed him everyone's attention was now on him. Bruce and Thor looked puzzled, Clint looked sympathetic, Pepper looked hurt, and Tony…

Well, Tony had a range of emotions on his face that Steve wished to never see again; confused, upset, angry, betrayed. There were probably more, but Steve did not allow himself time to figure them out. Roughly brushing Pepper's hand off his arm, he left the room.

x

Making his way to his apartment, Steve felt incredibly guilty. How could he treat a woman that way? Pepper did nothing to warrant his treatment of her. All she did was fall in love with the man Steve loved, only she was lucky enough to have him love her back.

He just couldn't help himself. He thought he could do it, he thought he could fake it around her. Pretend that he did not have a problem with her, because it really is not her fault that he does. He thought he was a bigger man than this.

He's not.

And now it was affecting the whole team. This is why he did not want to move into Stark Tower in the first place. He wasn't ready for it.

Collapsing on his bed, Steve let out a shaky breath. He had no idea what to do.

x

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